The Brain Always Wins.

I'm trying to draft a standard letter on the update of transfer pricing guidelines, but.... 

Brain: Nah, you can wait a little. No one says there is a deadline. Since boss didn't give you a deadline, it's fine to procrastinate... 

Me: Really, brain? REALLY? Have you seen the to-do lists?

Brain: Basically, there is only one report (which is due in two weeks time) and two updates of reports to do. No biggie...

Me: But you can't wrap up the report in a short period of time... Remember the other report where you struggle to finish on time?? And how you were being a bitch for not letting me to sleep well most of the nights?!

Brain: This is not that report...

Me: ....

I gave up on trying to convince my brain to work. Since the stress will only hurt it more than it hurt me... Right?

Sigh.

- haz -

Procrastination at its finest!

Hi, I'm back again! Think I should come here more often? Since I'm pretty sure no one ever comes here anymore... It was abandoned for some time and I admit I don't like expressing my feelings where the public can see. People tend to use my weakness against me... (remembering someone who make my mum worried about me... *glare*)... But anyway, it's over...

So yeah, I'm at office again... This time alone which I find very calming since I finally get my alone time... Hahaha... Oh!!! I watched "Doctor Strange" yesterday night. It was a good movie, had a great laugh. Should really consider watching movie more often, and go for a walk in the park.

Okay. Enough. I'm blurting out all my thoughts randomly and you can see why I usually keep my mouth shut. Thoughts come randomly, bombarding my brain and refuse to settle down. They keep shifting to the left and to the right at a speed no words can described.

Anyway, have to get back to my report. Seems like I need to rewrite to whole bloody report because I wasn't really satisfied with the first draft when I handed to my boss for review. 

- haz -

P.S. I got goose bumps (in a BAD way) reading some of the comments left at the posts I wrote.

Permission to complain....

I'm not sure whether I'm having depression or anxiety... But when I found this, I cried....

You don't like yourself, but you do admire yourself. It's all you've got, so you cling to it. You're afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special. Being miserable doesn't makes you better than anyone else. It just makes you miserable.

It's like a slap to my face. Then I ask myself: Why the hell I think that I'm not worthy of happiness? Do I need to prove to someone or prove something to be able to feel happy? What does it mean by "happiness"? Am I not allowed to have it? Have I done something that I feel I'm not worthy to be happy? Why do I need to explain to justify it's okay for me to feel what I'm feeling? 

But yeah... I've been in this situation for a few months and I'm impatient to get out of this rut as my mother called it. What I have plan to do today have not been successful. I wanted to go to the park to take a walk to cleanse my mind but I didn't bother to wake up early... Plan to go get my hair cut but I didn't do that too... Plan to finish the report which was due Monday (the client was not very friendly about the whole postpone thing and say it has been too long - well, she's not wrong)... Well, I'm here writing a post for my blog which I haven't come for like what... 2 years?

.... Momentum has been broken, so I'm leaving. But before I go, let me share with you something I find long time ago and I still find the words charming and depressing at the same time:

在第一次选择坚强的时候, 一定要想清楚: 你是否做好了承受一切的准备. 因为一旦你选择了坚强, 即使只是假装的, 你也必须坚强下去. 因为你曾经的坚强会让人以为即使再大的苦, 你也撑得住.

- haz -

谎言与誓言的区别在于，一个听的人当真了，一个说的人当真了

我却是那个听的人。很傻吧？

- haz -

Long time no see!

*blow dust*

Haven been here for so long. The last post was in May 2011. Hahah. There are a lot of things that happened last year. But I guess there are only 2 things that happened changed my life.

Firstly, I got a job in a accounting firm! Yay me! =D I'm pretty content with the job up till now. I wasn't so fond on the job at first as it had not cross my mind that I would be doing tax. This line involves a lot of reading and understanding, which is a pain in the ass. I don't know why I ended up in job that requires me to read and understand. But I guess I was pressured for not having a job after a few months of graduation. So I would just take up any job offered to me. Haha. But it turn out to be great. I love the working environment, the bosses are nice, the seniors are nice and helpful, although most of the seniors who had guide and help me had resigned. It's still a nice place to work in. That's a upside of my year.

I'll keep the second thing to myself. I'm not comfortable in sharing it publicly. Lol. Though some of my friends might know what had happened. Yes? =)

Anyway, the other day, my family and I bought a whole lot of books and stationery for only RM0.70!!! Well, actually they cost RM200. But because of the book voucher my sis had, we only paid RM0.70. =D

Look! And I got the book I wanted to read too! To Kill A Mocking Bird. I heard is a good book. Yet to read it so I cant wait. Although it might take a long time. Lol.

Anyway, I'm having a flu and sore throat. Think I better head to bed. But maybe I should read a chapter before I go to bed? Hmm.

Till next time! =D

-haz-

Fandom

This is what I do when I'm bored and restless.

Being a fan is not easy you know? xD

- haz -

Mixed uneasy feeling

Once was my get away, is now not.

Typing doesn't help smooth me anymore. Writing doesn't help organise my thoughts anymore.

And this blog has lose it's purpose.

So, should I close it down?

- haz -

P.S. I got a job offer!! Something to be happy about. =) Or is it?

Bunny Wabbit. xD

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!
Disclaimer: Got it off the net.

2nd day of Chinese New Year! To be honest, I didn't feel the CNY vibe until late last night at my aunt's place, where all my relatives gather around the gambling table and shouting. Haha.

Will be away for two weeks from Sunday and I can't wait for my convocation!!! xD Although I am a bit down cause I couldn't get a ticket for my sister cause I didn't realise the extra tickets are on sale for 5 days only. -.- Sigh. I felt stupid for not paying attention to the dates.

Anyway, hope you guys have more fun than me. =D Gotta go. Ciao.

- haz -

P.S. An early birthday wish to Eikura Nana and Kamenashi Kazuya. Happy Birthday!

A post that should be posted a year ago.

Is Sho's Birthday! =D

Happy Birthday Sakurai! =)

K, gotta go. Ciao.

- haz -

5 x 10

I love this songs cause of this scene (4:00)!

♫

♫

嵐arashi 5×10 Live DVD - 5x10

credit goes to 芷。羅嵐. =)

Do forgive me for being such a fan girl. Haha.

- haz -

I'm actually a Taurus?!

Haha. Hi~

I read Pei Ying's blog a while ago, and the title of the post was 'I'm actually a LEO?!'. It seems that the star position had changed or something. I didn't really pay attention to the rest of the post. =P

Anyway, have to go eat now. Need to attend an interview later. Wish me luck.

Oh! Before I go, Happy Birthday to Tamaki Hiroshi. =) If you don't know who he is, googled it. He damn handsome wei. =P

Ciao.

- haz -

A late new year post.

Happy 2011 people!

I got to see the fireworks at Curve this year. Thank you!

... I know is a bit late. I'm like em... *check the date on the calender* 5 days late. But better late than never right? =) I'll skip my new year's resolutions as I had never stick to them.

Yesterday was Cherrie's birthday! Happy 22nd birthday Cherrie! =) I don't recall I have a nice photo of you, so I didn't post one up. We GOT to take some when we meet up yea?

Well, I had a pretty bad start of this year. I've been applying for jobs. The one I applied for IBM looked promising until yesterday after I took the online test. Sigh. Too long never use my brain, I think it died. And! After the first few days of the new year, I began to have ulcers on my throat, and now I have flu. Can't even eat properly now cause it hurts to swallow. Hopefully, I get well soon.

A blink of an eye, I need to take the IELST test in another 2 weeks time! A bit nervous as I am not very good at the speaking and the writing. Hopefully, I'm not too nervous to stumble at my words. Does this sentence sound weird to you? Anyway, wish me luck!

I'm running out of things to say already. So ciao.

-haz -

Christmas Eve!

Today is Christmas Eve and also Aiba Masaki's birthday! =D

Happy 28th Birthday Aiba!
Disclaimer: Got it off the net.

So, anyone has any plan for Christmas? xD

Disclaimer: Got it off the net.

Hmm~ Is a bit cartoon-ish, but I couldn't bother finding a more real like tree. On the edge of screaming right now.

Anyway, a brief update of myself. Back in Malaysia, registered for IELTS, having exam on the 13th and 15th of January, applied for some jobs, and constantly being at the edge of exploding. =)

Alrighty! Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year people!!!!

- haz -

November post.

Hihi~~

Is been a month since I last blogged. To think I have not been blogging for a whole month is.... Well, not me. Hahahaha. So before the November ends, I will make a post about birthdays! again. =D

First off, is Pen's birthday today!!! =)

Happy 22nd Birthday Pen!!!

I couldn't find a nice photo of her and I, well, basically that was none, so I took a photo of her from her facebook instead. We GOT to take photos together when I see you, Pen!!!!!! Anyway, hope you having fun in UK with your boy boy and friends yea? =)

Now, for the next birthday, is a bit too early, cause his birthday is tomorrow, but since I'm here already might as well wish him too.

Happy 30th Birthday Ohno Satoshi~! =)
Disclaimer: I got it off the net, my sis gave me a link to that page. NOT trying to owned the pic or anything.

Anyway, he's 30! And I read his interview somewhere and he said his birthday resolution is to fast forward time so he could be 50 faster! -.- Seriously, he's just really weird. Lol. But I love seeing him on Arashi's show. =) Okay, don't mind me. I am fangirling here. xD

And... AND!, I finally finish my uni life with my last paper today!!!!! YESH! Because no more exam, no more long, horrible, terrible, kill-me-already assignments!!! No yesh, cause I don't know what to do next. Am to afraid to step out my comfort zone right now. But yea, that's life. Hopefully, I know what I want to do soon, so I could plan on what to do with my life.

And that's all for today. Ciao now. And I will see you soon, Malaysia. xD

I'm in love with the basketball. =)

Yo! =)

I had two assignments due next week, but last night and today I had spend my time watching Buzzer Beat and re-watching it. -.- I know, I'm hopeless. This is what happened if I stop watching drama for so long and suddenly starts a new one.

Anyway, as expected, the whole drama doesn't show a good basketball game. The only thing you will see is the lead actor or the lead actor's team members shooting hoops and getting the ball into the hoop. Haha. Not a very exciting game to look forward to. =P Not a big fan of Yamapi, but I really like him here with Kitagawa Keiko. They make such a cute couple. Too bad in real life they are not. =/ Oh well.

Sneak peak. =)
Disclaimer: Credits to http://jphinano.wordpress.com. =)

I love this scene for some reasons. =) I guess I am still a sucker for romance dramas. =D

I need to go and concentrate on my assignment now. Ciao. =(

- haz -

One of JE's best actor! =)

I am not that free to write a post now, but I cant bear to break the threat, so...

Happy Birthday Ikuta Toma!
Disclaimer: Got it off the net. I think from someone's blog.

Sorry to the owner of the picture for not crediting it properly. Just barely make it before his birthday ends. Lolx.

I gotta run. Ciao.

- haz -

Don't say you love me if you are not gonna stay.

I hesitated whether to write a post.

This morning I woke up feeling rather sad cause of some incidents that happened in the past. I wonder why I'm thinking about it now when is over like almost a year ago. Guess the incidents were a shock to me until now.

The funny thing is that I try to find some other happy things to 'offset' them but I couldn't find any. It was too overpowering. Not making sense am I?

I went to the royal show this year with my aunt and uncle again. =D I went there last Sunday. It was ok, not too bad not too good as well. I was up late doing my assignment the previous night. I get to see cows up close. Hahaha. But the smell is ridiculous. I think I wont be able to survive in the farm, even though I would like to see those outskirt places someday. Lolx. Didn't really took a lot of photos. I wonder why I don't take photos. I always wanted a camera, but I don't take photos. I think I just wanted a camera cause my friends all took a lot of nice photos and I wanted to do the same. xD

Guess I better stop writing crap and start writing something that would help me score in my assignment. Ciao.

- haz -

Dearest Moon.

Happy Mooncake Festival People!!
Credits to Tony Wu @ www.tonywublog.com

Is Mooncake Festival tomorrow. Pity Pei Ying who had just headed to UK to further her studies just few days before Mooncake festival. Hope you have fun in UK yea?? =D

For me, mooncake festival is to rush my assignment. I was so stress yesterday cause I couldn't even finish one section yesterday even though I stayed up till 3 something. Woke up at 9 today to continue with the same section and finally finish that section just now and I officially finished 1/3 of my report. Yay. I know is not much, but the amount of work I need to put in the report is.... I cant even describe. And now I have finish that section, I started to relax a bit. I guess is okay to relax a bit before I go to bed?? Is a good thing I finish the one I had to hand in tomorrow early tho. I'll be more stress if I haven.

Anyhoo, I wouldn't bored you with my uni rant. Ciao now. =)

- haz -

P.S. I do not like the way you asked for help. It irritates me for some reasons.

Happy Father's Day!

My blog these days really only celebrates events huh?

Happy Father's Day! xD
Disclaimer: Got it of the net.

I know Father's Day in Malaysia had long passed. But is Father's Day tomorrow in Aussie. So yea. Bought Toblerone chocolate for uncle today. =)

xxx

Ahhhh~~~~ My one week tuition free week is gone. GONE! I tell ya. >.< Haven done much for my assignments. Been too busy watching and re-watching the videos over and over again. -.- How lifeless can a girl get? Tho I managed to finish my DA report last weekend, I haven done much with my financial planning's assignment. And there's only one month left till the due date!!!! Trust me, one month is not enough for me to finish it and get a credit.

I ate a whole pack of gummies in 2 days. My diet is so messed up now. Had a really huge lunch today and was really full. So didn't feel like having dinner, but keep eating junk food cause I'm afraid I'll get hungry in the middle of the night. Now I'm so bloated. -.- I got my cousin hooked with my fandoms! Yay! ^^ Well~ Sort of. Lolx. I'm being so random now. Haha.

K then, I'll say bye now. Bye! xD

- haz -

Yet another celebrity's birthday.

For some reasons, nowadays my posts are all about birthdays. Haha.

So, today is Matsumoto Jun from the Arashi group's birthday!

Happy 27th Birthday MatsuJun!!!
Disclaimer: Got it off the net somewhere. Don't remember where tho. Sorry.

Wishing you all the best and can't wait for new videos from my sis!! Hahahahha. I love this picture of MatsuJun by the way. =D

***

31st August! (Tomorrow)

Gonna wish my beloved country Happy Merdeka Day as well. How old is Malaysia by the way?? 57??

Merdeka! Malaysia Boleh! =D
Disclaimer: Got it off the net.

I hope the leaders of the country leads you well, Malaysia.

***

1st of September!

Since I'm already here, will wish Ms. Lee P.Y. an early birthday also. =D Sorry I couldn't make it to your farewell-yam-cha-lunch?-session tomorrow. And I just found out that T.L. is going to Singapore also!! T.T Everyone left already by the time I get back to Malaysia. Anyway.....

Happy 22nd Birthday old woman!! =D

All the best and take care in UK. As for Thian Loong, all the best to you and hope when I see you again you are a qualified accountant! =D Take care in Singapore yea?

***

I've been busy with my assessments and uni work (well, not exactly true. =P). Dam stressful!!! Can't wait to finish all the assessments. But then again, I don't want my uni life to finish at the blink of an eye. Anyway, there isn't much to say about my life here in Aussie. I hope I used my free week to finish at least half of the financial plan. It has so much work to do. -.- Capstone units are killers.

K la. Will update soon if there's anything. Ciao people.

- As long as you keep walking, as long as you try changing, the world will be reborn everyday. Probably with just one change of your feelings. - by Yano Kenta from Uta no Oniisan

- haz -

P.S. Have you guys heard the new Wang Lee Hom's song? It's for the movie he directed. I am so loving it. =D